The original: 

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

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Directed by: 

Guy Richie (Snatch, Sherlock Holmes, Aladdin, The Gentleman)

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Starring: 

Nick Moran, Jason Flemyng, Jason Statham, Dexter Fletcher;  P.H. Moriarty, Lenny McLean, Steven Mackintosh, Stephen Marcus, Steve Sweeney, Nicolas Rowe, Alan Ford, Danny John-Jules, David ‘Disco’ Reid; with Rob Brydon, Vinnie Jones and Sting

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…Being the high-jinx, misadventures, narrow scrapes and close-calls of four friends in East London; wheeler-dealing, ducking-diving, thinking fast and speaking faster; hurtling through skin of teeth encounters and back-room bashings.

 

A crime-comedy-caper of the highest order, with sky-high stakes and low-down deals, this marked Guy Ritchie’s blistering debut, coming out of the gate faster than a freshly lit flammable horse.

 

Visually inventive and beautifully stylised, with every character a jack-the-lad with a thousand-word-a-minute delivery, desperately juggling enough shady deals to make Del Boy blush.

 

This is a world where everyone is hyper-articulate, insanely witty and deeply charming- belying the fact that really, they’re all scammers, planners, dealers and feelers of the highest order.

 

Lock Stock.. began a run of films for Ritchie, perhaps never bested, showcasing intertwining plots, over-lapping twists and under-cranked shots, the end result being a funny, thrilling, tense and at times scary trip into the side of London left off the postcards.

 

So hold on to your Khyber Pass, come for the banter, stay for the violence and watch out for that cliff-hanger; it’s time for some serious Barney Rubble.

 

Bacon: “Right. Let's sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don't, because if you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping. You're up here shoplifting. You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite. Fanny by the gaslight. Take a bag, c'mon take a bag. I took a bag home last night. Cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell you. Anyone like jewellery? Look at that one there. Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney. It's as long as my arm. I wish it was as long as something else. Don't think because these boxes are sealed up, they're empty. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you lot today, I'd make more money with me measuring tape. Here, one price. Ten pound.”

 

Barry the Baptist- “When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop.”

 

Rory: “If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything, I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now, do you understand everything I've just said? 'Cause if you don't, I'll kill ya! Now, Mr Bubble and Squeak, you may enlighten me.”

 

Barry the Baptist: “Hello son, would you like a lolly?”

Little Chris: “Piss off, you nonce!”

 

Big Chris: “It’s been emotional.”