The original: 

Hudson Hawk (1991) 

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Directed by: 

Michael Lehmann (Heathers, 40 Days and 40 Nights, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, Airheads) 

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Starring: 

Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, Andie McDowell, Richard E. Grant, Sandra Bernhard, James Coburn. 

 

What’s it about? 

Hudson Hawk (Willis) is a cat burglar straight out of jail, wanting only two things- to go straight and a decent cappuccino. 

He gets neither. 

 

From New York to Italy, Hawk and his partner-in-crime Tommy (Aiello) must pull off a series of daring heists, outsmart the utterly insane villains (Grant, Bernhard and Coburn), and avoid upsetting the church. And, also, save the world. 

 

A film famous as a failure, and rightfully so, it does in fact have a bit going for it.  Willis may have an ego out of control, but he also has a heft of charisma. 

 

The film is slick, witty and cartoonish, with energy seeping from every pore. Yes, it’s self-indulgent. Yes, it’s tonally inconsistent. And yes, they needed another trailer just for Willis’ smirk. 

  

On the other hand, it delivers inventive set pieces, has a gloss and budget that translate winningly onto the screen, and pulls off some winning one-liners. 

 

It’s not what one might call a good film. One might even call it a bad film.  But it’s fun. It’s zany.  And you get to see a dog fired out of a window with a tennis ball cannon. 

 

You never saw that on Moonlighting.

 

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I betrayed a man. A good man. An innocent man. A thief."  

 

Hudson Hawk: "Hey, this doesn't taste like cappuccino."

Anna: "Oh. I guess I put too much ethyl chloride in it." 

 

"I'll torture you so slowly, you'll think it's a career." 

 

"Bunny, ball ball."